The Illusion of Perfection
by MoonsongtheUnicorn
Summary: Following each of the main six, this story focuses on major issues and dark secrets that the characters have from emotional trauma in their pasts. They each put on a façade, trying to look perfect to everyone else, but are actually pretty messed-up inside. Can they ever heal from and overcome their pasts?
1. The Element of Laughter

*****AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is based on the first two seasons of FIM, not the entire show, so you may notice some differences on character backgrounds et cetera. Also, even though this story still uses some of the show's terms (e.g. "Pegasus", "stallion"), the characters are humanoid.*****

Pinkie Pie woke with the dawn to a house that smelled of delectable pastries. She hardly noticed her stomach gurgling as she jumped out of bed to get ready.

She took a hot shower, scrubbing her skin so hard it hurt and following up with scented lotion once she was dry. Carefully picking out clothes that would accentuate her fun personality and hide her embarrassing thighs and muffin top, she posed in front of her mirror and practiced her smile. Hmm, no. Those lips were too flat. She put on a little bit of makeup, just enough to cover her flaws and accentuate her better features, completing the job with a curvier line for her lips.

Pinkie examined herself once more, making sure everything was just so. Finally she looked _perfect_. She glanced up at the clock. Eek! It was already time to leave! She ran downstairs to the kitchen and began grabbing dozen-boxes of cupcakes, cookies, and the like.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake was obviously shocked. "Where are you taking all these?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Cake! We're having a party at Applejack's today, remember?"

"Well, are you inviting the whole town?" Her voice still had an edge even though she was being funny.

Pinkie Pie giggled, partly going with the joke and partly out of nervousness. "No, I just wanna make sure my friends have a lot of different treats to try!"

"Well, alright, but I'd like you to help me make more desserts when you get back, okay?"

"Okey-dokey-lokey!" Pinkie was standing on one leg, trying to open the front door with her foot. Finally she got it. "See you later, Mrs. Cake!" She pushed the door shut behind herself and sighed.

_Come on, Pinkie, we can't get sad now! _She regained her composure, striding down the streets toward Sweet Apple Acres. On her way she saw a few friends, greeting them with cheer.

Finally Pinkie made it to the barn where her best friends were planning on meeting and entered.

Applejack was the only one there so far. "Hey, Pinkie! You're early."

"I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to get things ready before everyone else gets here!" She set the boxes down on the floor and grabbed a broom.

"Aw, shucks, Pinkie, you didn't have to come early just to help me—but I'm mighty grateful." She swept for a moment, then stopped and looked up again. "Ya know, you're always doin' nice things for everybody. Dontcha ever do nice things for yourself?"

Pinkie was caught off-guard. She snorted and stumbled over her words before finally getting out, "Of _course _I do, silly!"

Applejack shrugged. "Just thought I'd ask. Sometimes I'm so busy takin' care o' the farm that I forget to take care o' myself: eatin' lunch, washin' up, restin' my body when it's tired…. Remember when I worked myself so hard I passed out?"

"Uh-huh." _Why is she giving me a lecture? Is she trying to scare me into confessing? _Pinkie wondered.

"Anyway, I just wanted to check up on ya."

_Oookay. Can you stop now? _Pinkie thought.

"…Ya know, you're awful quiet today."

"Oh, sorry! I just wanna save up my energy for the party!" Was that a convincing excuse?

"I understand." Applejack seemed to buy it.

They spent most of their time cleaning and decorating in silence, although this drove Pinkie Pie crazy. She didn't want to be left alone with her thoughts. She _couldn't_. Whenever she didn't talk, she started having bad memories. All she ever wanted to do was forget them, distracting herself with parties, friends, and desserts. She began humming, an effort to stay far from insanity.

When the rest of their friends came, Pinkie complimented their outfits and asked them how they were doing, saying all the right things. She tried to forget the memories, but they kept coming up. It felt as if she had an itch under her skin or a lump in her throat. She nervously drank cups and cups of punch and ate platefuls of desserts. No one seemed to notice she was on-edge.

Finally, when Pinkie's stomach was so full it hurt, she excused herself and ran to the restroom. She spread some toilet paper on the floor so she wouldn't get her tights dirty, then knelt in front of the toilet and held her hair back with one hand. She shoved her other hand into her mouth, reaching her middle finger as far back as it would go. Up came all the desserts and punch, heave after heave, until every bit had been emptied from her stomach into the toilet bowl.

Pinkie panted, leaning against the wall. The memories began to fade. Good. She reached forward and pulled the lever to flush her puke down, then stood and threw the toilet paper away. Feeling a little better, she thoroughly washed her hands and gargled mouthwash, checked herself in the mirror to make sure she looked normal, then exited the bathroom and made her way back to the barn.

The rest of the party Pinkie spent smiling, laughing, and joking with her friends. It felt good to make others laugh and cheer them up, to forget her fears and memories, to appear perfect. But not even her closest friends knew what she had been through.


	2. The Element of Honesty

Applejack swept the last of the confetti and crumbs into a dustpan and dumped them into a trash bin. "Whew! That was one heck of a party!" She scanned the barn to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, leaned the broom against the wall, and went to the farmhouse.

At the sound of the side door slamming shut, Granny Smith stirred from her nap in her rocking chair. "W-what? Who's there?" she slurred, alarmed and delirious. Her eyes focused on Applejack. "Oh, it's just you, Applejack."

Most people found it difficult to understand her granny, but Applejack never did. She smiled fondly at her. "Hey, Granny." Walking up to her, Applejack bent over and wiped a string of drool off her face and onto her own jeans. "I was just finishin' up cleanin' the barn from our party. Did ya have a good nap?"

"Well, I _was_ havin' a good nap 'til ya slammed that confangled door and woke me up!" She was grumpy, but Applejack knew she wasn't angry with her.

"I understand—sorry 'bout that, Granny. I'll leave ya to your nap." She stroked her white hair and kissed her forehead, then went to the kitchen to make herself a hay and apple jam sandwich.

As Applejack took a bite of her sandwich, leaning against the counter, she looked down at one hand. Her skin was brown with dirt, tan from the sun, and rough and callused from working. She never paid much attention to herself—she had responsibilities to focus on: her duties to the farm, to her family, to her friends, and to honesty. That was how her mother raised her, always to be honest with others, and Applejack promised she would. _White lies are just as harmful as black ones,_ her mother would often say.

Applejack came out of her trance. She tried not to think about her parents—no one ever talked about them. But it didn't matter. _The past is in the past, _Granny would always say. Their family knew what had happened, and bringing up the past always brought up pain. Applejack's eyes settled on the calendar. Today was her mother's birthday. She looked away, pushing her pain to the side, but couldn't help wondering if anyone else remembered.

Just then, Apple Bloom raced by, heading for the front door. Applejack caught her by the arm. "Hold up there, missy! Where're _you _goin'?"

"I'm late for our Crusaders meetin'!" she cried, squirming free from her grip.

"Hang on now! You're not goin' like that!"

"Why not?" Apple Bloom frowned and crossed her arms.

"You're wearin' mismatched socks and your hair's all in a knot!"

"Since when did _you _care about looks?"

"Don't be disrespectful now!" She proceeded to fix Apple Bloom's bangs. "I just want my baby sister to look decent in front of her peers."

Apple Bloom swatted at her sister's hands. "Why? 'Cause _you _never did?"

"Hold your tongue, Apple Bloom! I _am _your older sister!"

"But you're not my _mom_!"

Applejack grew angry, holding her sister still with one hand and fixing her hair with the other. "Well, your mom ain't around no more, so _I _have to do her job!"

"You _stink _at bein' a mom—_and_ a sister! I bet if Mom were here, she'd let me wear whatever I want! I bet she wasn't a nag like _you_!"

"You can't talk about Mom! You didn't even _know_ her! She _died _'cause o' you!" she yelled, her face hot. Suddenly she realized what she just said.

Apple Bloom's eyes were watery. "I _hate _ya." She yanked open the door and ran, not even bothering to close it behind herself.

Applejack had a lump in her throat that kept growing. Her head began to hurt with all the self-hatred that filled it.

"Applejack?" Granny Smith called. "What was that all about?"

Applejack's heart pounded. She shut the door behind herself and ran the opposite way from Apple Bloom, through orchards and fields and uncultivated land until she found her secret place, a pond far from crops and livestock and family.

Sweaty and panting, Applejack sat on the shore, arms around her legs, and rested her head on her knees. She wished her mother was there to comfort her, to tell her everything was gonna be okay. She would've tenderly stroked her hair and sung her a lullaby.

But her mother was gone.

Applejack felt a tear run down her freckled cheek. "I'm a terrible sister," she muttered hopelessly. _Mom would be disappointed in me. I'm nothing like her. I'm just like… just like Dad. _She began to sob bitterly, then rage set her ablaze. She dug her fingers into the earth, grunting and panting, then stood and threw the clumps of dirt into the pond, yelling hoarsely. Turning to the side, she found a dead branch on the ground and took it, breaking it over one leg with a grunt and chucking it as hard as she could with another yell.

Applejack fell to her knees and grabbed fistfuls of her hair, growling furiously. Her head pounded in time with her heart.

A cool nose touched her hand, accompanied by a familiar _sniff-sniff-sniff_.

Without looking, Applejack shoved her dog. "Go away, Winona!"

Undeterred, she came back a second later, this time licking her face.

"I said 'GO AWAY!'" she screamed, grabbing Winona by the skin of her back and hurling her.

Winona yelped loudly and cowered, eyes rimmed with fear.

Applejack was stunned. She looked down at her hands, then back up at her dog.

_See? _said a voice in her head. _You're just like him._

Ashamed and in shock, Applejack looked away, covering her face from Winona with one hand. But in the pond she caught a glimpse of her father, because his face was in her own reflection.


	3. The Element of Kindness

Fluttershy woke to birds singing at the first light of dawn. She flapped her wings a couple times to help herself out of bed and stood at her open window. "Good morning, little friends." She held her hand out and a bird perched on it, chirping to her. "It _is _a lovely day!" she agreed.

The bird continued to whistle.

Fluttershy giggled. "Yes, of _course _I'll refill the feeder." She immediately went to work, taking her time greeting and feeding all of her animal friends.

Right as Fluttershy finished dressing herself and brushing her hair, there was a rap on her front door. She walked briskly to answer it, surprised by the urgent sound. "Hello?" she greeted, opening the door.

"Fluttershy, hurry! We're gonna be late to the party!" Rainbow Dash was raring to go, hovering several inches above the ground.

She gasped as she saw the time. "Oh, my goodness! You're right! But…" She looked over her shoulder at her animal friends.

They all chattered and chittered and chirped excitedly, assuring Fluttershy that they'd be fine and urging her to go with Rainbow Dash.

"Well, if you're sure you'll be alright…." She picked up her pet white bunny and held him aloft, announcing, "Angel's in charge."

A badger protested, and Angel stuck his tongue out at him.

Fluttershy giggled. "Everything will be fine." She turned to Rainbow Dash. "Right, Rainbow?"

"Yeah! Your animals will be _fine_." She smiled reassuringly.

"Animal _friends_," Fluttershy gently corrected. _Did that sound rude? _she wondered.

"Animal _friends_," Rainbow echoed, almost rolling her eyes with a sigh. "C'mon, Fluttershy, we gotta go!"

Fluttershy kissed Angel's head and set him down. "Alright," she said to Rainbow, then to the animals, "Have fun, everyone!"

Rainbow Dash was already grabbing her hand. Fluttershy hurried and shut the door before being pulled into the air. She beat her wings hard to keep up with her friend. The wind rushed loudly past her ears and made her eyes sting and water. Her heart pounded and she struggled to breathe, getting lightheaded.

"C'mon, Fluttershy, we're only halfway there! You can't slow down _now_!" Rainbow called back to her. Then her voice was alarmed. "Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy found herself lying faceup on a rooftop, her dear friend next to her. "Did I black out?"

"Your heart rate's too fast." Rainbow had her fingers pressed uncomfortably in Fluttershy's neck. "Just rest here for a minute."

Once a couple minutes had passed, Rainbow Dash helped Fluttershy sit up. "How do you feel?"

Her head spun. "A little dizzy." Not wanting Rainbow to worry, she quickly added, "But I'll be okay. I'm feeling _much_ better." She stood with a confident smile but staggered and fell to her knees.

Rainbow shook her head and scooped Fluttershy into her arms. "I'm not gonna let you fly yourself there!"

"Oh! Are you sure?"

She smiled. "Don't worry—I'm strong as a stallion and twice as fast! I'll getcha to that party on time!" And with that she took off.

Fluttershy felt a little strange having someone else carry her, but she couldn't help smiling at Rainbow. No one cared for her more deeply than she did. Feeling safe, Fluttershy rested her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes.

-ooo-

Fluttershy shut the front door behind herself and locked it, trying to hold back tears. Her animal friends all chattered at her, but she cried, "Not right now!" feeling her voice swell with emotion. She flew upstairs and into her bedroom, locking that door, as well.

"I'm so stupid! Why did I think I could impress Rarity with the dress I made?" She yanked the dress off over her head, hearing a seam tear, and threw it onto the floor.

The voices of the foals at the Cloudsdale orphanage filled her mind, taunting her:

_You're so stupid, Fluttershy!_

_So weak!_

_Why do you even try?_

_You can't get anything right!_

She pressed her palms against her ears, but the voices only grew louder.

_You made _this_? No wonder no one wants to adopt you!_

"Stop!" Fluttershy cried. She jerked open her nightstand drawer and shoved the items inside to the left and the right, frantically searching for something.

Where was it? She had to find it.

Fluttershy lifted her mattress and plunged her hand underneath it, pulling it back out a second later. She looked down at the little knife in her hand. Her heart was pounding.

"_No one likes you, Fluttershy."_

"_Yeah, we can't wait 'til you get out of here."_

"_If that's even possible."_

"_But who'd want a filly who can't even fly?"_

"_I can fly!" Fluttershy's young voice asserted. She beat her wings a couple times, lifting herself off the ground several inches, but her wings failed her and she faceplanted into the cloud._

_A filly scoffed. "Wow! You really _are_ dumber than you look! And that's saying a lot."_

_They all laughed at her again._

_Young Fluttershy stayed on the cloud, her face mashed into it, too embarrassed to look at anyone._

_The warden came up to the crowd and spoke. "Is there a problem over here, children? Do I need to whip someone?"_

_A colt quickly accused, "Fluttershy was flying indoors!"_

_The warden's voice was on-edge, "Oh, was she? Well, she knows the punishment for that kind of behavior." He grabbed Fluttershy by the wrist and yanked her up, hurting her. "Five lashes with the whip."_

All the other foals got off with a warning for that kind of thing, but Fluttershy acutely remembered how intensely the warden had hated her. She shut her eyes tightly. She could hear the _whish_ of the whip in her mind. She could feel its sting. She still had scars.

Fluttershy's eyes sprang open again. Her hands were trembling. She gripped the knife more tightly and pressed it into the skin on her forearm. A wave of relief and numbness washed over her.

The voices were finally silent.


	4. The Element of Loyalty

"_Skylark! Where you hidin'?"_

_The violent voice made Rainbow Dash tremble. She wanted to get out of bed to close and lock her door, but fear paralyzed her._

"_Skylark! You answer me!" His voice was slurry, but that was normal. He'd been drinking again. "SKYLARK!" he yelled._

"_I'm taking a shower!" Skylark replied, her voice strained._

"_Come out here! We need to talk!"_

"_I'll be out in a few minutes!" She was clearly annoyed._

"'_A few minutes' isn't good enough!" He rattled the doorknob. "Why'd you lock me out of this bathroom?" He was still yelling loud enough for the neighbors to hear._

_Her mother replied, but Rainbow Dash was too far away to hear._

"_I need to take a piss!" His fist pounded against the wall. "Open this door, mare!"_

_Rainbow Dash pulled her blanket up to her chin, her whole body quivering._

"_I SAID 'OPEN THIS DOOR!'"_

_Suddenly the door opened, and Skylark's voice reached Rainbow. "What do you want?"_

"_We need to talk! Sit down!"_

"_I'm not finished!"_

"_I said 'Sit down!'"_

"_You can wait 'til after I'm done!"_

"_You're not goin' back in there!"_

_Skylark cried out. "Let go of me!"_

_Rainbow Dash pulled her blanket over her head, wishing she was somewhere else. She tried to stay calm, but she couldn't stop hyperventilating._

"_I'll teach you respect, mare! Now sit down!" her father yelled._

"_No!" Skylark protested._

"_Sit down!"_

"_I said 'no!'"_

"_SIT! DOWN!"_

_Skylark's body hit the floor._

_Rainbow grabbed her pillow and pressed it against her ears, but nothing could block the sound of her father beating her mother. With every landing blow, every shriek, every plea for mercy, she groaned and writhed in her bed, tangling the blanket and her clothes around her body._

"_Rainbow! Rainbow!" Skylark desperately cried between screams._

_Rainbow Dash's heart pounded harder and harder. "Mom. Mom!" Urgency spurred her to throw her pillow against the wall and tear off the blanket. "Mom!" She leapt up, threw open her bedroom door, and flew as fast as she could down the hall and into her parents' room._

_Skylark was curled up on the floor, towel wrapped around her body, still wet from her shower. She yelped, moaned, and sobbed miserably. Rainbow's father was standing over Skylark, kicking, punching, and slapping her viciously._

"_MOM!" Rainbow screamed, so loud and reedy it hurt. She stepped forward boldly, shoving her father away from her mother. Before he could regain balance, she was striking him frantically with her fists, elbows, wings, knees, and heels._

_He tried to fight back, but Rainbow Dash was too quick. She punched him hard in the chin, making his head snap back and his eyes roll._

_Rainbow halted, stunned by her power._

_Her father seemed dizzy. He braced himself against the bed and looked at her. He must've noticed the blood on her knuckles, because he licked the corner of his mouth then wiped it with his thumb, leaving a red streak behind. He looked from his hand to her intense eyes. "You need to learn your manners, whelp."_

_Rainbow Dash spat defiantly, nailing him on the cheek._

_Enraged, he stepped threateningly toward Rainbow, but she straightened her back and tightened her fists. He hesitated, then snorted. "I'll teach you respect someday." He flung his finger in the direction of her mother. "You need to learn like she did!" He stormed out of the room and down the hall, cursing as he went._

_Rainbow Dash exhaled, relieved and dazed. Remembering her mother, she knelt and helped her sit up. "Mom. Mom. Are you okay?"_

_Panting, Skylark looked at Rainbow Dash and smiled weakly. Her eyes were red and swollen. She reached out a wet, trembling hand and tenderly stroked Rainbow's cheek. "My hero," she hoarsely whispered._

_Rainbow pulled her mother close, letting her rest her head on her chest, and petted her wet hair. Her heart was still pounding, but her face was set like stone. "I won't let him do that to you again, Mom. I'm your protector now."_

Rainbow Dash woke up, trembling. Her heart was racing. She looked down. The sheets were tangled around her legs and dark from sweat. _It was just a dream, _she told herself. _It was just a dream. He's not coming back. He's not coming back. _She tried to slow her breathing.

A sound startled her. Her eyes darted to her wrist. Oh, good. It was just her watch alarm.

Oh, her watch alarm! She was gonna be late for the party! "Come on, Rainbow, pull yourself together!" She slapped her cheeks and exhaled sharply, then jumped out of bed.

Rainbow changed out of her sweaty clothes and rinsed off in a flash. As she was drying herself off in the bathroom, she felt a bump through the towel. She didn't have to look at it to know what it was, but she did anyway. She had a long scar on her tricep, cut flesh that had healed a pale pink, interrupting the white cloud on her cutie mark. She'd always told people it was from crashing into something when she'd been flying, but that was an easy lie—it was from her father.

She squeezed her tricep hard, feeling her hatred for him.

Rainbow Dash looked up at the clock. She had to hurry. Pushing the thought away, she dressed herself in a racerback tanktop, comfortable for the winged Pegasi; shorts, which wouldn't give as much air resistance as a skirt; and a pair of sneakers. She looked in the mirror. She was strong, athletic, and good-looking. Flexing her biceps, she gave herself a short pep talk. "You're awesome! Let's do this!"

Feeling confident, Rainbow Dash flew out of her cloud-house and toward town.

Fluttershy crossed her mind.

_I'd better check up on her and make sure she's okay, _she thought to herself. _But if she asks, I'll just tell her I didn't want her to be late. _She sped up, worry infringing on her mind.

-o-

Rainbow rapped a couple times on Fluttershy's door, too wound-up to land on the ground.

"Hello?" Fluttershy seemed surprised to have company, but she was fine. In fact, she looked more than fine—she was _beautiful_. She wore a nature-inspired sundress, thin and flowy, likely made by her.

Rainbow Dash wanted to compliment her, but she'd never been good with words. "Fluttershy, hurry!" she blurted. "We're gonna be late to the party!"

Fluttershy looked over one shoulder at her clock and gasped. "Oh, my goodness! You're right! But…" She stared at her animals, wringing her hands anxiously.

Rainbow felt a pang in her heart. Fluttershy's animals were more important to her than even her best friends, though she'd never admit it. They were like her support group.

Fluttershy spent too long talking with her animals. Rainbow wondered if she could actually understand them, or if it was a fantasy she liked to live in. "Everything will be fine," she was saying to them. "Right, Rainbow?" She turned to look at her, sunlight warming her pale face and wind playing gently with her long, soft pink hair.

Rainbow Dash swallowed over a lump in her throat. _Of _course _everything will be fine. I'll make sure you're safe, _she thought. "Yeah!" she reassured her, unable to resist smiling. "Your animals will be _fine_."

"Animal _friends_," Fluttershy corrected, almost in a whisper.

How could anyone get mad at her, even when she corrected them? "Animal _friends_," Rainbow agreed. She saw the clock behind Fluttershy's head. They'd lost too much time. "C'mon, Fluttershy, we gotta go!"

"Alright."

That was good enough for her. She grabbed Fluttershy's hand and started flapping harder, barely giving her enough time to close the door before she pulled her off the ground.

They had to hurry. No one liked a late party guest. Besides, this party was important—it was celebrating the day they all met Twilight, just one year ago.

Rainbow Dash felt resistance on her arm. "C'mon, Fluttershy, we're only halfway there! You can't slow down _now_!" she called over one shoulder. She glanced back at Fluttershy. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head. "Fluttershy?" She cried, terrified.

Rainbow Dash landed on the nearest roof, laying Fluttershy down as gently as she knew how. She checked Fluttershy's pulse under her chin, breathing steadily in an attempt to calm her own palpitating heart.

Fluttershy opened her eyes. "Did I black out?"

"Your heart rate's too fast," Rainbow said, feeling the worried edge in her voice. "Just rest here for a minute." She should've been more careful. This could've been prevented. She couldn't let her end up like her mom. She swallowed over a lump in her throat, but it only made it bigger.

She looked back at Fluttershy, who looked a little better. Dash gave her a hand, pulling her gently to a sitting position. "How do you feel?"

She didn't need to ask. Fluttershy was swaying and blinking. "A little dizzy."

A _little_?

"But I'll be okay," Fluttershy reassured. "I'm feeling _much _better." Foolishly she stood, trying to smile, but crumpled to her knees.

Rainbow Dash shook her head disapprovingly and scooped Fluttershy into her arms, holding her close. Why did she have butterflies in her stomach?

She ignored the feeling, declaring, "I'm not gonna let you fly yourself there!"

"Oh! Are you sure?" Fluttershy looked so innocent and helpless, like a child.

Rainbow smiled at her. She wanted to protect her. She _had _to protect her. "Don't worry—I'm strong as a stallion and twice as fast!" she boasted. "I'll getcha to that party on time!" She took off, flying a little more slowly than before. Her cargo was precious.

Rainbow Dash looked down at Fluttershy. She was resting her head on her chest, reminiscent of her mother. Fluttershy was weak, like her. But Rainbow Dash was stronger now than when she was a filly. She wouldn't let Fluttershy end up like her mom.

She _couldn't_.


	5. The Element of Generosity

Rarity sipped some punch from her glass and sighed. "This punch is _lovely_, Pinkie," she complimented. "Could I have the recipe?"

Pinkie stopped mid-bite and set her fork down. "Oh… it's actually _Applejack's _recipe! I didn't make it this time." She couldn't stop fiddling with things—her fork, her hair, her clothes…. Whatever was the matter with her?

Politely Rarity smiled. "Oh! I naturally just assumed _you_ had made it." She tried not to be distracted with Pinkie Pie's nervous attitude, but it was vexing her. She took another sip of punch.

"Well…" Pinkie shoveled food into her mouth and spoke between bites, spewing crumbs. "_Normally _I would've… but I was really busy this past weekend, so _Applejack _was kind enough to make it for me!" Her gluttony was _repulsive_. Didn't this Pony know anything about moderation?

Rarity brushed crumbs and droplets of spit off her own cheek and fake-smiled again. "Oh. I see."

"'Scuse me!" Rainbow Dash reached across Rarity to grab some cookies.

_Eww_! Her armpit was right in her face! And Rainbow Dash _always _smelled of sweat and body odor. Didn't she ever bathe?

Rarity held a handkerchief to her nose and slipped away, trying to smile but actually sneering. She sat on a barrel and sighed, fanning herself. If only everyone was more like her: elegant, refined, stylish…. She pouted with pity for her friends. Her parents, who hadn't been privileged to attend university, scraped together all their savings and sent Rarity. And she was better for it: she had learned proper etiquette; how to run a business; and of course, how to make exquisite clothing.

"Um, Rarity?" someone whispered.

Only Fluttershy could be so demure. Rarity came out of her trance and looked at her.

Fluttershy's hair was down, not a good idea for a hot day on a farm. Her nails were unpolished, short, and uneven—the last obviously from the disgusting habit of chewing. Her feet were bare, already accumulating dust from the barn. But the worst part was the dress! To name a few atrocious qualities: it was too long, dragging through the dirt with every step Fluttershy would take; too straight, making Fluttershy look thin and curve-less; and just too _simple_. Why would Fluttershy wear such a hideous thing, especially in a _barn_?Even Rarity, the queen of fashion, was sensible and humble enough to wear shorts and boots. "Um…" Fluttershy was saying, "what do you think?" She twirled gently and smiled shyly.

_What do I think?_ She raised an eyebrow then smiled. If Fluttershy wanted fashion advice, Rarity would give it. She named everything wrong with it, confident in her knowledge of fashion, expounding on each point until she was sure Fluttershy understood. At the end she laughed and said, "What I want to know is why you didn't consult me _before_ you bought it!"

Fluttershy looked as if she was trying to hold back sobs. "I… I _made _it." Her voice cracked, and tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Oh, darling, blubbing isn't becoming of you."

Fluttershy wouldn't stop. She kept wiping her eyes, but more tears soaked them every time.

"Now, now, darling, all you need is a little fashion advice! Your stitching is quite good, b-but—" She stopped short when Fluttershy ran off. "Oh, blast."

"Rarity!" Applejack cried, hands on hips and eyebrows in a V. "Why, in all the years I've known ya, I've never seen ya so insensitive!"

"When you're in the fashion business, Applejack, you must learn how to take constructive criticism. Ponies have corrected me just as harshly, and I'm a better designer because of it."

"Oh, yeah? And how'd ya feel when they gave ya 'constructive criticism'?"

"Oh, it hurt at first, but soon I learned you must grow a tough skin."

"Fluttershy doesn't have no tough skin! Dontcha know ya can't talk to her like that?"

"Oh, pish-posh. I know what I'm doing. She'll thank me later." Rarity sat straighter and took a sip of punch.

Applejack snorted and walked off.

Rarity looked about the room. Everyone was frozen, staring at her as if she were a criminal. "What? You don't all agree with _Applejack_, do you?"

No one answered.

Rainbow Dash looked irate: her face was red and her jaw was set. Without a word she turned and flew out the barn.

Pinkie Pie broke the awkward silence—and made it worse. "Wow, this is awkward and embarrassing!" she practically yelled, laughing nervously.

Twilight Sparkle's face was droopy, her eyes dark. "Maybe we should all just go home."

"What?" Rarity cried. "Is it wrong to give your friends advice? Is it wrong to be _right_?"

Applejack simply scoffed and crossed her arms.

"Well!" She set her punch down and stood. "Since my _friends_ don't even want me at their party, I'll just go home!" Grabbing her purse, Rarity briskly walked out the barn and toward home, muttering all the way.

Once she reached home, she changed into fancier clothes and applied extra makeup at her vanity. "'_More_ makeup, doll, you need _more_!'" she quoted, spreading foundation on her skin. "'You can't be seen with those horrid scars.' No one ever apologized to _me_. Why should I apologize to Fluttershy?"

Rarity touched up her lipstick, but her hand slipped, drawing an ugly line on her cheek. Frustrated, she growled and threw the lipstick over her shoulder, then looked back at her reflection. "Oh, Rarity, you look like a _clown_." She glared at herself and wiped the lipstick off her cheek, then scoffed. "'You should cover up as much as you can, doll.'" She applied some mascara and began pumping the brush in the bottle. "'Your business needs a face, and _this _face… simply… _won't_… _do_.'" She flung the bottle off the vanity table.

"Well, and what have I done," Rarity called out, her voice amplified in her quiet boutique, "but followed _every step_ you told me? And _still_ it wasn't enough! I didn't have the business mind you did! I couldn't _do_ what _you did_!" She looked down at her body. "The only thing I _could_ do was…" _Sell myself, _she finished in her mind. But she could never admit that, not even to the empty air.

Rarity inhaled and straightened up. "But no matter _how_ I achieved it. I convinced Ponies to sponsor me, and here I am now: famous, popular, and successful." She attempted a smile. But when she gazed into the mirror, she hated the mare she saw.


	6. The Element of Magic

Twilight Sparkle woke up with a smile on her face. Today, one year ago, was the day she had met all her best friends! They were throwing a party at Applejack's today, and she was determined as ever to be prompt! She got out of bed, carefully brushed her hair, and put on a simple purple dress and flats.

Oh! She had almost forgotten to wake Spike. She climbed the ladder to the loft and looked at him. He was curled up in his little bed, sleeping soundly. It reminded Twilight of the day she had hatched him. When Rainbow Dash had performed the legendary sonic rainboom for the first time, the magnitude of Twilight's magic was unlocked and went berserk! Celestia was able to calm her and help her out of the trance, and in one moment so many things happened: Twilight passed her entrance exam into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, became her protégée, earned her cutie mark, and adopted Spike. Twilight was not quite seven when she hatched him and knew nothing about being a mother, but something special happened in her heart when she held Spike in her arms for the first time. He was small and warm and fleshy, much like a baby Pony, but like all Dragons he had a scaly tail and pointy ears. As she held him in her arms, she felt a bond form between them. Celestia must've seen it, because she allowed Twilight to adopt him with her parents' permission. Trained Ponies took care of him while she was in class, and she'd always go to see him between classes and during breaks. When she moved to Ponyville, he came with her. They had never spent a day apart. Sometimes they took each other for granted, but when it counted… they helped each other stand.

Twilight smiled at Spike and walked up to him. "Spike?" she greeted softly. She gently shook him. "Wake uuup…." She shook him a little harder. "Good morning, Spike!..."

He stretched and yawned, baring his sharp canines. "What?" he mumbled, pulling his blanket over his face and rolling over.

"C'mon, Spike, wake up! Remember, we're having breakfast together today?" When he didn't respond, she assumed the "assertive mom" role. "I expect you to be prompt. Now get dressed and come downstairs!"

He groaned. "It's too early. Can't we do it later?"

"Well… I'll be at Applejack's later. Remember it's our _one-year anniversary of living in Ponyville_?" She strung the words out. "If you get up now, we can eat a well-balanced breakfast and still get to the party on time!"

"I don't _wanna _get up now—I'm tired! I'll get up later, okay?"

"B-but… the party…"

"I don't _wanna _go to the party."

_He doesn't want to go to a party celebrating us moving here? He doesn't even want to see Rarity? He doesn't want to spend time with _me_?_ Hurt and confused, Twilight backed off. She tried to cover up the pain with indifference. "Okay! Whatever. I'll just eat by myself! And… go to the party by myself! It's no trouble! _Really_. Just don't mind me… down here… by myself…." She climbed down the ladder as she rambled.

"Can you just do it quietly?" he grumbled.

Twilight swallowed back tears and muttered to herself, "Sure! That's fine. I'll just _shut up_."

Once she had finished _quietly _eating her meal, Twilight Sparkle left for Applejack's party without so much as a "goodbye" to Spike.

At the party, Twilight forgot her pain as she observed her friends from one corner of the barn. Applejack was pensive, chewing on a piece of straw. Pinkie Pie, looking very agitated, excused herself to use the restroom. Rainbow Dash had been hovering over Fluttershy almost the entire time. And Rarity was sitting alone on a barrel, isolation unbecoming of her.

But wait—something was happening! Fluttershy was twirling in front of Rarity, showing off the dress she was wearing. It wasn't very practical, but it was beautiful.

Rarity smirked and suddenly had that familiar, haughty air about her. What was she saying to Fluttershy? Twilight strained to hear, but she could feel the air getting tense. "What I want to know is why you didn't consult me _before_ you bought it!" Rarity cried with a laugh.

How _rude_! Fluttershy was instantly in tears, as evidenced by her wiping her eyes. Rarity tried to make amends, but Fluttershy ran out the barn before she could finish.

"Rarity!" Applejack scolded her for her behavior, which turned into a quarrel between the two.

_Oh, dear, _Twilight thought. _This party isn't going too well._

"You don't all agree with _Applejack_, do you?" Rarity was clearly offended.

Rainbow Dash looked tense. She flew out the barn without a word.

"Wow, this is awkward and embarrassing!" Pinkie declared. She seemed to regret her words.

Twilight looked at her friends. Applejack was bitter, Rarity obstinate, and Pinkie Pie uncomfortable. The party was a disaster. If no one could agree and just _get along_… why did they have the party in the first place? Twilight cast her eyes downward, hopeless. "Maybe we should all just go home."

"What?" Rarity defended. "Is it wrong to give your friends advice? Is it wrong to be _right_?"

Applejack scoffed. Pinkie was oddly silent. Twilight didn't look up.

"Well! Since my _friends_ don't even want me at their party, I'll just go home!" Rarity's boots beat against the dirt all the way out the barn and down the road.

"What a snob!" Applejack snorted in contempt. "She doesn't even hear the words comin' out o' her mouth!"

"What a party pooper!" Pinkie agreed.

Twilight hugged herself, but it brought no comfort. This party was supposed to be celebrating her moving to Ponyville and the six becoming best friends, but it seemed no one cared about their friendship. It was like there was no harmony.

"Well… I guess that's that, then," Applejack was saying.

"Yeah… I should probably get back to Sugarcube Corner." Pinkie's voice was still as high-pitched and cheery as ever. Did she even care about what had just happened? "Catch ya later, Applejack."

Twilight Sparkle looked up in time to see Pinkie Pie skip out the barn. Typical Pinkie.

Applejack sighed. "I'm mighty sorry 'bout the party, Twi. I'd offer you some desserts to take home with ya, but…" She sighed as she looked at the table.

Twilight followed her gaze. All that was left in the boxes were crumbs.

"Pinkie Pie's such a glutton!"

Twilight frowned at her, surprised by her comment.

Applejack crossed her arms. "It's the truth, Twilight. You know I always tell the truth, even when it hurts."

What a hypocrite! She had just gotten onto Rarity for giving an honest—albeit rude—opinion of Fluttershy's dress, then turned around and "told the truth" about Pinkie Pie. Disgusted, Twilight shook her head and left without a word.

Back at home in the Golden Oak Library, Twilight's pain resurfaced. "Spike?" she called, wincing in anticipation for a cross response. When he didn't respond, she searched the entire library to find him, calling his name.

But the pain gave way to worry when she realized the library was empty.


	7. The Faint of Heart

Pinkie Pie entered Sugarcube Corner, acting carefree and confident. She focused on things that made her happy, like sweets and balloons and baby Ponies—her method of covering up her pain. Jogging up the stairs to the foals' room, she found Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake in their crib, babbling and playing with toys. She smiled and played with them for several minutes, becoming engrossed and forgetting herself.

"Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake called from behind.

She and her husband had caught her making a fool of herself to amuse the foals, which shouldn't have embarrassed her. Blushing, Pinkie took off the fake pig snout and stood to her feet. "Um… hey, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!" She grinned. "Don't worry, I wasn't keeping them from napping…."

The foals were happy, but that obviously wasn't why the Cakes were there. Mrs. Cake took a breath, perhaps to calm herself.

Pinkie Pie became nervous.

"Mr. Cake and I have been talking…."

_Oh, no. I'm in trouble! What did I do? _Pinkie's abdomen tightened.

"We had made an agreement with you that we would house you here under certain conditions. And those conditions haven't been followed lately."

_Wait, they're kicking me out? Don't I get a second chance?_

Mrs. Cake was still talking. "We're gonna give you a week to catch up on chores and abide by our rules, and if you don't…"

"You won't be able to stay here," Mr. Cake finished.

Pinkie Pie panicked. _I won't be able to stay here? I can't leave! _"Well, where else could I go?" She wrung her hands.

"I'm sure your family will welcome you back at the rock farm," Mr. Cake comforted.

But it wasn't comforting. It was horrific. "But I can't go back!" Her heart pounded and she began to sweat. "I-I don't have anywhere else to stay!" She started hyperventilating. "I mean, what did I do wrong? Why don't you want me here anymore?"

"Pinkie, calm down. We're not making you leave…."

She was already having a full-on meltdown. Tears soaked her face and clouded her vision. "I-I can't go back! You don't know what it was like there!"

Mrs. Cake stumbled over her words, trying to encourage her. "Pinkie, I know it must've been… _boring_ there, but you have a family who loves you!"

Pinkie fell to her knees and bent over, touching her forehead to the ground. "No! No!" She clutched her head and shook it. She tried to speak again, but it came out as mumbles and sobs and gasps. As she remembered the way her family treated her, she started hyperventilating again. Her body heaved and she coughed, but only stomach acid and saliva came out. It happened again, and she noticed how lightheaded and dizzy she felt.

"Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake cried.

Pinkie's vision darkened and narrowed. She groaned and fell onto her side.

And everything was black.


	8. Bad News

Rainbow Dash rapped impatiently on Fluttershy's front door. "Come on, answer!" she hissed through clenched teeth. She knocked again.

Fluttershy opened the door and smiled. "Hi, Rainbow."

She could instantly tell Fluttershy was covering up. Still hot from what had happened at the barn, she seized Fluttershy's arm and pulled up her sleeve before she could protest. _I'm too late, _she lamented. A bandage was concealing what Dash knew to be a self-induced wound.

Was it weird she wanted to kiss it all better?

"I-I was playing with one of my ferret friends…" Fluttershy began, trying to come up with a convincing lie.

Rainbow cut her off. "You know you're just hurting yourself even more." She looked boldly into Fluttershy's eyes, then her gaze softened. "Why won't you let me help you?"

Fluttershy swallowed and looked down. Her soft pink hair covered half her face.

Rainbow Dash brushed it out of the way and gently ran her fingers across her cheek. She was so tender, so fragile. Rainbow's lips trembled and she began to lean in.

Fluttershy's large, beautiful eyes were filled with terror. She shrunk back, her arms protectively across her chest. "Rainbow Dash, you're scaring me," she whispered. Her hair fell back over her eyes.

Rainbow swallowed over a lump in her throat as she realized what she'd almost done. Her face reddened and she cast her eyes downward. A thousand thoughts flooded her mind. Ashamed and confused, she simply muttered, "I-I'm sorry."

"Um… I'm really tired, so…" Fluttershy put her hand on the door, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"But… I was just trying to…" _What, "help"? You're not helping her—you're just freaking her out! _Rainbow's thoughts accused. "I mean… I just—I'm sorry. Okay? I'm, I'm sorry." She turned and flew away, utterly mortified.

-o-

Back at home, Rainbow Dash held her pet tortoise, Tank, and cursed at herself. What if Fluttershy didn't want to be friends anymore? Who would take care of her? Who would protect her? And why had she tried to kiss her? She nervously pulled on a piece of her hair and murmured, "Am I really… _gay_?" She sighed in frustrated despair and rested her head on Tank's shell.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, startling Rainbow. She groaned miserably and slumped back down. "No one's home!"

The doorbell kept ringing and ringing until Rainbow Dash was so exasperated that she jumped up, threw open the door, and yelled, "What do you want?"

A Pegasus stallion winced. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am! The Cakes sent me. Pinkie Pie is in the hospital!"

"_What_?"


	9. Owning Up

"I'm just like him," Applejack sobbed. "I'm just like him." She was hunched over, covering her face with both hands. Another wave of anger hit her, and her breathing became more forced, her head hot and red.

"You don't look too good," said a deep voice.

Big Mac? Applejack lifted her head and turned around, squatting. Her brother was just standing there, staring down at her. Self-conscious, she wiped her eyes and huffed, "I see my secret place ain't so secret no more."

Big Mac plopped down in front of her. "Wanna talk about it?"

He was a great listener, but Applejack didn't wanna talk about it. She'd rather be left alone. She crossed her arms and sat down, glaring at a sprout in the dirt. He couldn't make her talk.

"I didn't forget her birthday, either." He plucked the sprout from the ground and twirled it between his meaty fingertips, watching the leaves spin.

Applejack stared at him, surprised. "You… you remembered Mom's birthday?"

He didn't respond.

"Why, I thought _no one _remembered anymore."

He paused, then said, "I heard what you said to Apple Bloom."

"Oh." She flushed. "It pro'bly sounded pretty bad, huh?"

"Eeyup."

Applejack frowned in indignance. "But if she'd just listened to me, none o' that would've even happened! She should respect her older sister!"

"And her older sister, I reckon, should respect _her_."

Applejack scoffed, offended. "You're sayin' she wasn't at fault?"

"I'm sayin' she wasn't the _only _one at fault." He set the sprout down and looked her in the eyes. "Look, Applejack, sometimes the older sibling needs to set a good example."

"Ya mean… I should go apologize and own up for what I done, even if she doesn't do the same?"

"Eeyup."

Applejack sighed. "I reckon you're right."

-o-

"Apple Bloom?" Applejack called, knocking on the door to her clubhouse. "Ya in there?" She knocked again. "I just wanna apologize…" She lowered her voice to speaking volume. "…for how I treated ya."

"Go away!" a teary voice cried. "I don't need your apology!"

Applejack huffed. "Ya know what? I'm not gonna—" She stopped herself and took a breath, swallowing her pride. "I mean… it was wrong of me to say those things earlier… _especially _what I said about Mom." She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. "Do ya think ya could forgive me?"

Silence.

Applejack took a deep breath. "I remember the day you were born. We were all so excited to see ya for the first time. And when…" She slowed down. "When Mom started dyin', everything was like chaos. But your face was so peaceful… and I don't figure I coulda gotten through that day without ya. _Every _day…" She started to get choked up. "…that I see ya, I'm reminded of then. It's _mighty_ painful, but ya always get me through. I don't know what I'd do without ya."

Silence again.

Applejack sighed. Not knowing what else she could say, she turned to go.

The door opened behind her. "Applejack?"

She looked over one shoulder. There was Apple Bloom, standing in her mismatched socks, tears in her eyes. Applejack faced her. "Yeah?"

"Do ya really think… I killed Mom?"

Applejack's heart brought her close to her sister. "Oh, no. No, no, no." She wrapped her arms around Apple Bloom and let her tears wet her hair. "Don't _ever _think that. I never meant that. I was just so angry…."

"Angry at _me_?"

"_No_! Angry at… _myself_," she realized.

Apple Bloom seemed confused.

"Excuse me! Ms. Applejack?" a male voice called urgently from behind, catching their attention. "The Cakes sent me. Pinkie Pie's in the hospital!"


	10. Found and Lost

"Spike?" Twilight Sparkle called, worried sick. She ran past some Ponies eating brunch, then doubled back and stopped at their outdoor table. "Have any of you seen Spike?"

They all shook their heads.

Twilight groaned with worrying as she ran down the street. "Spike! Spike?" It seemed as if she had searched _everywhere_!

Then something caught her eye: a little boy with a purple hoodie stood several yards ahead, gazing into a shop window. He had the hood on and his back to her, so it could've been anyone—except that he had a scaly purple and green tail!

"Spike!" A wave of relief washed over her. She ran up behind him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "I'm so glad I—"

He rotated in her arms and shoved her back. "Stop!"

It felt like he had punctured her heart with one of his claws. Twilight stood staring at him, dumbfounded. She brushed it off and tried again. "I was looking all over for you! Are you okay?" She pulled his hood off and combed his green hair with her fingers, making it look like he had actually brushed it after waking up.

Looking irritated, he batted her hands away. "I said 'Stop!' Ponies are watching!"

Twilight's eyebrows pressed together. "But Spike, you really had me worried! I was about to call the police!" She took his face in her hands and examined it.

He jerked away, frowning. "Stop coddling me!"

"Spike, you know you're not supposed to leave without my permission! I didn't even know where you were! Who knows what could've happened to you?"

"Stop worrying about me! I can take care of myself!" He put his hood back on and turned to walk away.

"No, you can't!" Twilight caught him by the arm. "_I _have to take care of you!"

"No, you don't!" He wrenched his arm out of her grip.

"_Yes_, I do! And you need to respect me and follow my rules!"

"_No_, I _don't_! You're not my mom!" he yelled, blowing smoke out his nostrils.

Twilight gasped. She knew everyone's eyes were on them, but she felt so numb. Even though tears blurred her vision, she could see Spike walking away. Her stomach tied itself in knots and she just stood there, staring at the ground. She didn't know what to do with herself, and she didn't care if anyone was looking. It didn't matter.

"Ms. Twilight Sparkle?" A hand touched her shoulder.

Twilight looked up and wiped her eyes.

The Pegasus stallion looked embarrassed. "Um… I'm sorry. Um…" He seemed to suddenly remember why he'd disturbed her sulking. "The Cakes sent me to find you! Pinkie Pie's in the hospital. They want you there _immediately_."

Twilight was astonished. "W-what? What happened?"

"No time to explain, miss! Do you want me to carry you? I can fly fast!"

"No need!" Her hands began glowing, increasing in brightness, until she and the stallion disappeared.

The stallion looked surprised to see the hospital walls around him, and a little dizzy. "Oh. Wow! Thank you!" He turned to her and extended a hand. "By the way, I'm—"

Twilight cut him off. "What room is Pinkie staying in?"

"Um, I'm not sure! She was still in Urgent Care when I was here earlier."

Twilight Sparkle growled in frustration. "You could've told me that _before _I teleported us here!" In a flash of light, she teleported herself to Ponyville Urgent Care, leaving the stallion behind. "Is Pinkie Pie here?"

A nurse, shocked to see someone appear in front of her, stammered that Pinkie had just been moved to the hospital.

Twilight growled again and teleported back to the stallion.

"Oh, good, you're back! This nurse was just telling me where Pinkie Pie is staying." The Pegasus stallion gave a little smile, but Twilight was not amused. Nervously, he continued, "Um, anyway, she's right down this hall! Just follow me."

They jogged down a few hallways until they found the Cakes sitting in chairs in a waiting room. Each of them held one of their babies and a bottle. They looked up and offered weak smiles. Mr. Cake spoke. "Pinkie Pie asked us to wait out here. Your friends are in the room with her, number 205."

Twilight swallowed as she approached the room alone. What had happened to Pinkie? Was it a gash or a broken bone? Did she suddenly fall ill with hay fever or the Pony pox?

It felt so surreal entering a dim hospital room and seeing one of her best friends on the bed with an IV. Besides that, Pinkie looked pale and sickly, and not at all her cheery self.

Twilight scanned the room. The walls were blank and the curtains ugly, but she hardly noticed. Mostly she noticed her friends. Applejack was sober, standing at the foot of the bed as if she were keeping watch over Pinkie. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, usually side-by-side, were sitting in opposite corners of the room, not making eye contact with anyone. And Rarity was sitting quietly, reading a magazine.

What had happened?


	11. Confession Stand

Applejack looked over her shoulder at Twilight Sparkle, then turned back to Pinkie Pie. "Hey, Pink? Twi's here."

Pinkie opened her eyes and gazed up at them with dread and shame. She tried to smile, but it was more like a frown. "I guess you're all wondering why I'm in the hospital."

All five of Pinkie's friends were gathered around her bed now. Some of them nodded.

"I… I have… bulimia."

Her friends looked shocked and confused.

She continued. "It started out back at the rock farm.… My family wanted me to be _perfect_. And… I _couldn't_. I guess I got really stressed. Whenever I couldn't be who they wanted me to be, I got punished. They never hit me, but… I guess I have scars in my heart." She took a shaky breath or two before continuing. "I started noticing everything wrong with myself, and I thought I could change it. I thought I could control who I was. So I started throwing up everything." She took another breath. "And… I guess I really hurt my body. The doctor said I'm dehydrated and malnourished. I'd denied how sick I was, and no one really knew what I'd been doing, I guess, until… I ended up _here_." She gestured to the room.

"I'm sorry, Pinkie," Fluttershy consoled, reaching out to hold her hand. "That sounds _terrible_."

Pinkie Pie offered a weak smile.

"Pinkie Pie…" Rarity began. "Um… goodness, I don't know quite how to say this…." She bravely looked into Pinkie's baby blue eyes. "I judged you." She sighed, almost in relief. "I called you…" She almost whispered it: "a glutton." She grimaced, then continued. "I let myself be blind. I should've been able to see how stressed you were." Rarity's eyes looked dark with regret. "I understand what it's like to have so much pressure put on you. When I was a younger teen, my parents sent me to a special school where I learned everything from etiquette to fashion. They wanted me to get good grades and make use of the special opportunity I'd gotten. They never were able to go to a special school like that." She stared at the floor, reluctant to say more. "I… had a sort of mentor who coached me on how to run a business and look good doing it. I suppose he was successful." She shrugged, dolorous. "He… taught me how to manipulate others into getting what I want. And…" She took in a sharp, quivering breath. Was she really about to say it? She felt tingly and lightheaded. "He… he pimped me." Suddenly she started sobbing, covering her face with her hands.

Rainbow Dash's and Applejack's mouths fell open. Fluttershy wrapped her arms around Rarity and cried with her. They all spent a few minutes comforting her and saying kind words to her.

Once everything calmed down, Applejack exhaled. "I have a bit of a confession, too. My father…" She exhaled again. "Most o' y'all don't know this, if any o' y'all. My father is still alive. And… he's in jail." She had to force the words out. "He was a pimp. I don't know what all he did, but he did a lot of bad things. And… I don't know if he really loved us. He'd get angry a lot, and… he hit us sometimes. Finally the police found out about things he'd been doin', drugs and such. He went to jail, and not too long after… my mom died." She spoke so matter-of-factly, but it was plain to see she was hurt. "Today was her birthday. I didn't say it to nobody. I didn't think nobody remembered. But I started to realize a fear I've had in my heart that I couldn't face: the fear of becoming my father." She took a breath. "I guess it's okay to be honest with yourself and own up to who ya are."

"But who you are isn't dependent on your parents, Applejack," Rarity contended. Her voice became tender. "I've heard stories of your mother, and I know you have her heart. I know it's easy to let your past affect your future… but it doesn't have to." She smiled encouragingly.

"Shucks, Rarity, I guess you're right." Hope sparked in Applejack's eyes. "Thanks." She smiled back.

"Um…." Rainbow Dash was sweating. She couldn't hold it in any longer. "I… I think I'm… gay." The word seemed to sit in the air. It almost seemed surreal. Had she actually said it out loud? She nervously glanced at her friends, who all seemed astonished but concerned. "I… tried to kiss Fluttershy." Her face felt hot, and her head pulsed. "At first I thought I was just protecting her… but I ended up hurting her." She tried to look at Fluttershy, but guilt pulled her gaze to the floor. "Fluttershy, I'm… sorry." She took a breath. "I guess it started when my dad got really abusive. He hurt my mom, and… I became her protector. And… my mom…" Her breathing quickened, but she calmed down after a moment. "My mom died of a heart condition." This time she was able to look at Fluttershy, but with regret and sorrow. "Fluttershy has the same condition." She swallowed, but her throat was tight. "I thought… 'This time, I'm not gonna let her die.'" Her voice had an edge. Tears formed in her eyes. "All I ever wanted to do… was protect you. I'm sorry I was such a bad friend." She looked down again. "I know you probably hate me now."

"Rainbow Dash, I don't hate you." Fluttershy rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I understand you." She pulled her into a hug. "And I love you, gay or not."

Dash sighed in relief. "Thanks, Fluttershy."

After their embrace, Fluttershy said, "Well, I guess it's my turn." She fixed her eyes on a faraway point as if looking into a distant memory. "I was raised in an orphanage. I don't know if my parents were alive or not, but I didn't have any family. The first person who became a real friend to me was Rainbow Dash." She smiled proudly at her. "She always stood up for me. But when she wasn't around, I got bullied a lot." Her face drooped with sadness. "They called me names and made a fool of me. I felt so confused and ashamed and helpless and worthless…." Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I didn't know how to cope with all that pain. So I started cutting myself…." Courageously she pulled up her sleeve to reveal her scars. "And… I still do it. It makes me feel… _relieved _for some reason. I guess it doesn't really make a lot of sense when I think about it."

"I think we _all _find ways to punish ourselves when we think we're not good enough," Twilight Sparkle interjected. "I guess you all know I struggle with perfectionism."

Everyone else nodded.

"I think… we're probably worrying over nothing. _Nobody_ can really be perfect—that's impossible. I mean, except maybe Celestia!" She laughed for a second, then soberly continued. "I think I convinced myself that, if I tried hard enough, I could be perfect at _everything_. But… I'm not a perfect mom."

"Wait, you're a mom?" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Oh, my," Fluttershy murmured.

"No, not biologically! I mean Spike!" Twilight explained, flustered.

Everyone seemed confused. "You _know _he's a Dragon, right?" Rainbow asked.

"No! I mean, yes! Of course I know that!" Twilight growled, exasperated. "Don't any of you see me as his mom?"

"I mean, you're like fifteen." Rainbow smirked.

"That has nothing to do with it! The point is, I can't seem to relate to him anymore!"

"Have you tried seeing things from _his _perspective?" Fluttershy gently offered.

"Well… _no_." Twilight looked down humbly. "I guess not." She sighed. "I guess I can be a little overbearing sometimes."

"'Sometimes'?" Rainbow Dash's eyebrows went up.

Twilight frowned. "Am I the only one who doesn't get sympathy?" She huffed. "_Anyway_, we used to be really close. But now… I feel like he's drifting away from me." Her shoulders sagged.

Rarity put a hand on her shoulder. Fluttershy wrapped her arms around her. Pinkie did her best sad face. Applejack patted her arm. They all looked at Rainbow Dash.

"What?" she cried.

"Aren't you gonna comfort Twilight, too?" Fluttershy wondered.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, then gave in. "Yeah." She hugged Twilight. "Sorry I was rude."

"I forgive you." Twilight smiled a little, but the pain was still in her eyes.

"Have you made amends with Spike?" Rarity inquired.

"Not yet. I tried to, but… I didn't handle it very well."

"Do you think you could try again?" Fluttershy gave a kind smile.

"Yeah." Twilight smiled back. "I think I could."


	12. Adopted Family

Twilight Sparkle closed the front door of the Golden Oak Library behind herself and looked around the room. "Spike?" she called. "Are you home?"

No response.

She climbed the ladder to the loft and looked over the edge. Spike was sitting on his bed hunched over, looking down at something in his hand. Twilight approached him and knelt beside his bed.

Spike wiped a tear from his eye and looked at her. "Hey, Twilight. I was just… thinking." In his hand was a fragment of his shell, something that he'd always kept close.

"Wondering about your family?"

"If I even have one."

After a moment of silence, Twilight ventured, "I thought you thought of _us _as your family, after that crazy Dragon quest you went on a couple months ago."

He shrugged. "Being a Pony is great, but… there are still some things I don't understand, things maybe Dragons could teach me… like why I don't have wings." He stared sadly at his back.

Twilight sighed. "I know what you mean. I really wish I had the answers for you." She took a breath. "Sometimes I worry that I hatched you prematurely, and that…"

"I'll _never _grow wings," he finished, not looking into her eyes.

Sorrow settled in her heart. "Oh, Spike." She rested her hand on his knee. "I'm sorry. I just wish I knew more about Dragons! Maybe…" She swallowed back tears. "Maybe you _should _go live with them. I just… don't know how to take care of you. I don't know how to relate to you! I'm not a Dragon! And I… I know I'm not your mother."

Spike's eyes glistened as he gazed into hers. "Twilight, I don't wanna leave." He stared regretfully at the shell fragment. "I know what I said must've hurt you, but I didn't really mean it. I don't know if my real parents are out there somewhere… but _you're_ my family." He smiled at her. "You adopted me. And… if you hadn't… I might not have one at all."

Tears rolled down Twilight's cheeks. "Oh, Spike. You really mean it?"

He nodded.

She stood and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you."

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist. "I… I love you, Twilight," he whispered.

A smile sprang from the corners of her mouth and she squeezed him more tightly. "I love you, too, Spike."


	13. A New Beginning

Twilight Sparkle smiled around the room at her friends. "I'd like to officially welcome you all to the first weekly meeting of the Harmony Support Group!" She settled in her armchair and continued. "Thank you all so much for agreeing to start this group together! I think it'll be really helpful for all of us."

"I agree," Rarity said. "And thank _you _for providing your lovely home, Twilight!"

"Oh, it was nothing! I wasn't really using this sitting room for anything—except for reading books by myself!" She sniggered awkwardly. Once she regained her composure, she explained that each person would share something about their journey, going clockwise. "You can start, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy grabbed her hair nervously with both hands and partially hid her face. "Oh! Are you sure it should be _me_?"

"Well, I figured since you struggle with diffidence, it would help you overcome it by going first."

"Well, um… if you think that's best," she murmured. She took a breath and spoke more loudly, just under a normal speaking volume. "I went to my first meeting with my therapist on Thursday, and she encouraged me to talk about my past with a close friend. I told her I talked about it with Angel Bunny, but she said that didn't count." Fluttershy blushed. "So I talked about it with Rainbow Dash, and… I haven't cut myself since then."

"That's great, Fluttershy! That's almost a whole week!"

Everyone congratulated her.

Twilight gestured to Rainbow Dash. "What about _you_, Rainbow?"

Rainbow shifted uncomfortably. "Um… I don't know if I'm ready to go to a therapist, but…" She exhaled tensely. "Just, um, this morning…" Her face reddened and she rushed the rest of her sentence. "I called myself 'pretty' for the first time."

Everyone responded positively like before, then Rarity interjected, "I'm sorry I never told you before, Rainbow Dash, but… you _are _pretty." She smiled sincerely.

Rainbow became redder.

Pinkie Pie wrung her hands anxiously. "Is it my turn yet?" She was sitting on the edge of her seat, but her shoulders were hunched in timidity.

Twilight nodded calmly.

"Sorry! I'm just so nervous! Do you have any cupcakes?"

Twilight smiled knowingly. "We'll have some light snacks afterward, but for now I want us to focus on each other."

Pinkie grimaced. "Right." She sighed. "Okay. I can do this. Um… I guess you all know I just got released from the hospital this weekend. Mr. and Mrs. Cake said I can stay with them as long as I want, as long as I keep up my chores. But they have me on an eating plan now—doctor's orders." She gave an insecure smile. "It's been helping, I guess, but… it's been really hard. I've been, um… talking with the Cakes about my childhood. I didn't really realize how much pain I had, and I guess I thought I could just cover it up with acting happy all the time. I thought maybe the pain would go away, like I could forget it and the problem would disappear. And… making others happy just _feels_ _good_, like I guess I use that as a replacement for my own happiness. Because… if I'm honest… I'm _not _happy." She sighed miserably, then sped up. "But everyone _thinks_ I am, and if I show that I'm _not_ happy, I'll disappoint them, and then _they _won't be happy, and—" She stopped herself short, grinning in embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

"Don't be ashamed of rambling, my darling," Rarity encouraged. "Sometimes you just need to get it off your chest—and we're here to listen."

Pinkie Pie blushed. "Thanks, Rarity."

Applejack sat up straight on the sofa and cleared her throat. "Well, shucks, I guess it's my turn. Uh… Apple Bloom and I are a mite bit closer now. I've been tellin' her stories about our mom… and I've answered a couple questions about our dad, too. I don't wanna go into too much detail about 'im since she's so young, but… it's actually been goin' pretty well. She has _a lot _o' questions." She glanced around the room. "Well, that's about it."

"I'm glad your relationship with your sister has been going better, Applejack," Rarity said. "My relationship with Sweetie Belle is still… a _bit _of a challenge." She looked down at the rug. "I still haven't told her about what I did." She lifted her eyes again. "But I cut off my relationship with my former…" She practically muttered the word, "_pimp_." She cleared her throat. "So… I believe I've taken a step in the right direction."

"That's great news, Rarity." Twilight smiled. "_Each _of you is doing a great job! I know this journey is a challenging one, but that's why we're doing it _together_." She took a sip of water. "Spike and I are doing a lot better now. I, um, gave him permission to tell me when I'm being annoyingly overbearing." She chuckled awkwardly. "But I think I'm doing better, and we've been communicating better, too."

"That's wonderful news," Fluttershy almost whispered. Everyone else agreed.

"Yeah." A smile spread over Twilight's face. "We've all taken first steps toward improving, and we'll continue _together_." She looked around the room once more at her friends. "I'm so proud of each of you."

"We're proud o' ya, too, Twi."

"Thanks, Applejack." Still smiling, Twilight reflected on what had happened the past couple weeks. She and her friends had grown so much, both in maturity and in intimacy with each other. She felt a spark in her heart. "I think… it's okay if we're not perfect. We don't have to have it all together. We're gonna get through this, and we're gonna be okay. We have each other." She grasped Fluttershy's and Applejack's hands, and the rest of them joined hands, too. They all smiled at each other, and hope ignited the sparks in their hearts.

And they knew they were gonna be okay.

**THE END**


End file.
